我的童年

February 7, 2010 - Leave a Response

写作班的第二篇作品。

老大好像不是很喜欢这篇,把篇幅缩短了挺多的。>.<

以下是original & edited by 老大 + feedback versions.

原版:

150 

我有不少绰号。

小叮当、矮冬瓜、小猪。

它们有一个共同的地方,那就是:矮。(不要说胖,那是被忌讳的字!)

但我并非一路来都是矮子,我也有当过高妹的风光时候!

在书本上阅读过,通常女生大概到了20岁才会停止长高,小时候的我深信不疑。

小四时,我突然长高了10公分。当时我很兴奋,因为以当时的身高,我在班上算是高个子。在班上坐后排、排队时站在后面、让同学抬头和我说话,这些都是我引以为傲的。我以为我会这样高下去,以为“高妹”这个荣衔从此就非我莫属。谁知道过后我增高的速度越来越慢,“高妹”这个荣衔也不属于我的了。

我Ah Q的以为速度不是问题,所谓欲速则不达嘛。

中一时,我150公分。

比起其他女同学,那已经算有点矮了。但幸好还有未发育的男同学为我垫底,我不至于丧失所有信心。随着一天天过去,我发现女同学们褐色的校裙都变短了,唯有我的还和第一天上中学的长度一样,裙盖过膝盖,差一点就连接到我的白色长袜。乍看之下,好像我的校裙和袜子是衔接在一起的。

我想我妈应该也是以为我会长高的,所以上中学时替我买了较长的校裙,那长高后就无需买新的。殊不知那单纯的以为却频频地提醒着我,我没有长高。

中四时,我仍150公分。

我被骗了。书本上说的怎么没应验在我身上?经过一番推断过后,我心有不甘地得出了两个结论。第一:书本只是在自作聪明的安慰像我这样的人。第二:我不正常。

真是害人的书。中学的四年,我就傻傻的抱着“我会长高!”的希望。到了中四,我才发现,原来“希望”是遥不可及的。如果“希望”真的能实现,那还需要希望吗?

中学的四年生涯,我只有羡慕地看别人难掩兴奋地宣布自己长高的份。我从来都感受不到看着自己的校裙渐渐变短的快感与自豪。

每每要量身高时,总会有几个不识相的同学在我面前抱怨自己差几公分才能达到理想中的16X公分。我不知他们要我说什么,是要我鼓励他们,还是要我安慰他们,说:“没关系,再矮仍有我替你垫底,不要伤心!”。

奇怪,我以为抱怨长不高是我独有的权利,这些人怎么没经过我的允许就胡乱抱怨啊!

 

现在的我,不再希望了。

我只是认命。

其实也在偷偷的等待奇迹。

老大编辑版: 

150

书本上说,女生到了20岁才会停止长高,小时候的我深信不疑。

小四时,我突然长高了10公分。当时我很兴奋,上课时坐后排,排队时站后面,同学跟我说话必须抬头。我骄傲的以为,我会这样高下去,因为我是一个143公分的小四高妹。

中一时,我150公分。

比起其他女同学,那已经算有点矮了。但幸好还有未发育的男同学垫底,不至于丧失所有信心。中学一天天过去,其他女同学的褐色校裙都变短了,唯有我的始终一样,裙摆超过膝盖,差一点就碰到白色长袜,乍看之下,好像校裙和袜子、白鞋统统衔接在一起。站在食堂的大片白色墙壁前,我简直可以融进去。同学如果经过,大概只会看到我的头,还有旁边大红色的讲礼貌海报。

中四时,我150公分。中四毕业后,我还是150公分。我只能说,千万不要相信书本说的。

(童年是始终长不大的埋怨,幸好有乐观自嘲的语气平衡,文字不至于过度唠叨。–删掉了开头和结尾的兜转,以更简洁有力而且合乎原来语气的方式收尾,补入了白墙的描绘,童年才在逗趣之余,有了画面。)

顺便附上我可爱的童年。Viewer censorship advised. 不要被第一张照片吓到! HAHAHAHHAHA.

P/S: 下一篇作品将会是关于爱情!

写作班

February 3, 2010 - Leave a Response

这个学期选修HC312,是老大开的写作班。

认识这门课,是因为去年blog hop的时候无意hop到HC312的博客。阅读一些学长们的作品后,我其实有点不敢相信他们的功力原来那么深。拿自己的写作能力与他们相比,还真的是望尘莫及,又或者应该说,there’s no basis for comparison! 自从看过了HC312的博客,我虽然担心自己的程度太差,但仍对这门课有些心动。

结果我就在这个学期,带着既忐忑,又兴奋的心情,选修了HC312。 上了4堂课,写了3篇作品。

发现老大原来是个无人能及的冷面笑将。每一堂课都上得轻松、舒服、开心。

发现自己原来是挺黑暗的。3篇作品都离不开emo。不知道我原本就是这样,还是这个学期才改变的。

发现同学们要写,还真的写得出一些优秀的作品。

总觉得自己的作品跳脱不出自我,格式也极像写博客。就是重复的写一些没有情节、没有画面的东西。

以下是我的第一篇作品,附加了老大的评语。其实他的评语才是最精彩的。

第一篇题目为:亲爱的…

就是要写信。写给任何人/物,内容自由发挥。

亲爱的快乐人,

不知道从什么时候开始,你眸子里的光芒好像越来越少浮现了。

在MSN上,你又以隐身状态登陆。别人主动与你聊天,你才会淡淡地回几句,但仍尽量加个“哈哈”之类的无聊词语,这样似乎较符合你的性格。他们或许不知道吧,你已经习惯独自悄悄的在一旁注视着他人。你喜欢看人,但却害怕被别人注视。在他人的目光下生活,太累人了。以隐身状态登陆久了,还真想当个真正的隐形人,不必在意他人的眼光,更不必刻意以某种面貌示人。

他们大概看惯了你乐天开朗的一面吧?夸张的动作、愚蠢的笑话、疯狂的笑声。从没见过一个女孩子像你一样,如此不顾形象,如此大剌剌的。别人爱拿你来开玩笑,因为就连你自己都开自己的玩笑。不要被别人伤害,就得先自己动手,把自己扁得遍体鳞伤。有了自知之明,别人的贬低才不会显得突如其来,让你无法招架。

他们以为你的沉默寡言只因睡眠不足,以为你的百般无奈只因无病呻吟。原来他们都不懂。累了,也不想再解释了。或许他们忘了微笑不仅代表快乐,又或许他们忘了,快乐人的负担就是要保持快乐。

快乐人,大家都在等你,是时候提起劲了。反正随着时间的流逝,不快乐的应该会过去的。至少你我是这么希望的。

评语:(从眸光的闪现开始分裂,接着侧身虚拟世界,奠定了不确定的气氛,即是躲避他人,也是不敢正视自己。表里的割裂有真实的负载,“遍体鳞伤”可作更凄厉的描写。自残为了不受伤害,强颜却没有欢笑,快乐原也需要提醒,呻吟因此有了重量。)

January 31, 2010 - One Response

Since when do we need reasons to be happy?

I don’t know what happened to me since the start of this year, or rather, since the end of last year. Suddenly, I just didn’t feel good, I didn’t feel the peace within myself. Different not-so-good events might have caused that unhappiness in me.. but those things summed up together weren’t supposed to be that bad.

I could have been wallowing in self-pity and encouraged the growth of negative thoughts, probably. I could have thought life should have been better. I don’t know what’s in hold for me and whether life should have been better, but the very least that I could control is life can be better. It’s all in the mind.

I’m getting up and feeling better since last week already, thanks to great friends. Sorry for scaring you all.. I didn’t know I was in such a bad state that some of you didn’t really dare to talk to me.

Last Friday I was walking alone from South Spine to North Spine very slowly, enjoying the music and the breeze, and I smiled to myself. From the heart. It’s been long. Since I smiled over nothing and felt so at ease.

I really miss that part of myself.

That self-contented me, who smiles to herself and walks in a cheerful manner.

I hope that part of me comes back… soon. :)

这不是我在说话。

January 20, 2010 - Leave a Response

最近有点害怕自己。

情绪和身体感觉是不同的个体。能控制身体的一举一动,但情绪却起伏得令我完全无法驾驭。

害怕,是因为我竟然可以毫无理由的伤心。

莫名其妙。

找不到问题的根源,就解决不了这荒谬的“问题”。

是问题吗?

大概又是我无聊的无病呻吟。

快受不了这样的自己。

我在哪里?

徒劳

January 19, 2010 - Leave a Response

最终还是躲起来了。

It takes effort to be happy, but it takes nothing to remove the smile on your face.

快乐人..是时候笑了。

January 6, 2010 - 3 Responses

Coming to the end of the year… time for reflection, and time to give thanks.

December 28, 2009 - Leave a Response

It’s going to be so cliche saying this, but it is true, time really flies. Another year just went past like that. 尤其在大学的日子,时间犹如白驹过隙。 Like everyone else, there is a mix of good and bad throughout this year. Good things are meant to be remembered and to be reminded of, and bad ones, are lessons that I should learn from.

给自己的话:不论是待人处事或是对待生活的态度,我都得学习和改进。鸡毛蒜皮的小事,不应该过于敏感或太去在意。把问题放大,结果吃亏的还是自己,所以要学会释怀,把不开心的事当作一堂教会我人生道理的课。不要什么事都担心、害怕,让自己停滞不前。要学会做个解决问题的人,而不是遇到问题就仓皇失措。最重要的是,时时保持乐观的态度。

这一年来,遇到的好人很多,感谢这些人为我的生命注入新色彩,更感谢一路来扶持我的家人和朋友。我自认是个依赖性很强的人,所以谢谢你们让我依靠,让我能安心地去做每一件事。人总有不如意的时候,所以我要时刻提醒自己,生命中其实有很多值得让我感到幸运/开心的事。Always remember and appreciate the little, albeit good things in life.  :)

December 27, 2009 - Leave a Response

注视着荧幕,纹丝不动。

双眸睁得豆大,但眼神却已失焦,眼前原来是一片模糊。

那听似豁达的笑声、那过于兴奋的声音。。。

他们以为笑容是坚固的盾。

原来他们都不懂。

Korean Air’s uncles dancing to Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry

November 27, 2009 - Leave a Response

I love watching parodies. They are just so entertaining LOL!

Korean Air’s marketing department made a video of their version of Sorry Sorry for the company’s talent show and posted it on the internet – which led them to a TV appearance on Star King, a Korean TV talent show. They also performed this song on some other occasions, which includes a trailer for Korean Air Flight Simulation Contest.

Their steps are not perfect and not exactly all of them can dance well, but the effort put in was apparent and I guess it’s just heart-warming to see a bunch of uncles dancing enthusiastically to a pop song and enjoying themselves. ^^

 

The video

 

The making of the video


The flight simulation contest trailer

 

Appearance on Star King (with the department head joining in the fun!)

11 days to my next/last paper :)

November 26, 2009 - 2 Responses

That’s why I’m currently taking a break.

I rarely update my blog this semester, so just a short summary of the GOOD and BAD that happened in this semester..

BAD

Been whining A LOT about HC413, and I hope I won’t need to talk about it ever again. Any case, I think I tried my best to study whatever I could. I was ill-prepared, but I didn’t give up. I can still remember how low my morale was in Year 1 Semester 1 and the lack of perseverance then. I learnt not to give up, and now, I should learn to be consistent. Was very inconsistent this semester – presentations and reports not well done and not catching up with my readings. Bad time management on my part, I would say.

My teeth had been creating a lot of problems for me this semester as well, I may have to extract my right molar tooth after my exams. Sighs. And the headaches are back.. I guess stress plays a part in it because I have been getting headaches almost everyday ever since the exam started. O.o

Friends went for exchange, and I took 2 Chinese modules ‘by myself’ (not really by myself, but other than my own clique, I don’t really have any other friends in Chinese that I hang out with.. so.. ya), felt quite out of place in these 2 modules, especially in HC413. Guess I’m not used to ‘being alone’ again. Oh well. I’m still too reliant. >.<

GOOD

Stupid in NTU = more overlapping of friends, more common topics, more time spent together (but too much causes conflict HAHA).  (:

Friendships forged in BOP. Not that we weren’t friends before, but most of us are basically closer now? :) This is something that I really feel thankful for. It’s like suddenly having a group of nice, warm and fun friends to hang out with.

 

Yes, that’s my summary of the GOOD and BAD this semester.. overall it was a fun semester with my friends, but academically wise, it’s shit. HAHA.

One good thing to look forward to next semester though: FRIENDS TO COME BACK FROM EXCHANGE!! WOOHOO. (But that also means some other friends are going for exchange.. LOL)